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Monday, January 30, 2006

Breaking the Ice

The Conservatives won the 2006 federal election with a campaign motto of "Stand up for Canada." It didn't take long for the Americans to pick a fight with Prime Minister designate Stephen Harper, but thus far the Tory leader is standing his ground, albeit on very thin ice.

The USA and several other nations dispute Canada's sovereignty in Arctic waters. The debate resurfaced last week after the American ambassador to Canada reiterated his government's stance that they do not recognize Canada's claims over the Northwest Passage.

Although ambassador Wilkins suggests that his remarks were old news, he was clearly taken aback when Harper shrugged off his comments. "It is the Canadian people we get our mandate from, not the ambassador of the United States," Harper was quoted as saying.

An enraged Wilkins called Harper a "shit-disturbing right wing wannabe" and proceeded to sprout goat horns and a grotesque stump of a second head that bore a striking resemblance to Rick Moranis. The suddenly malformed Wilkins began to attack the room with white hot fireballs before vaporizing himself into an odious cloud of purple smoke.

Thankfully, there were no reported injuries after Wilkins' tirade. The American embassy would only say that the ambassador is now on temporary stress leave and is expected back in the office before the end of the week.

Wilkins, seen here conjuring a ball of
white flame, was really angry.
(CP Photo. Really.)

2 Comments:

Blogger Blueberry Pick'n said...

well done: ❝conjuring ball of flame❞...

Alas, 'tis TRUE: the American Administration which Cannot Be Named truly has committed ❛Unforgiveable Curses❜...


BlueBerry Pick'n
can be found @

ThisCanadian
"Silent Freedom is Freedom Silenced"

7:04 PM  
Blogger CompletelyCanadian said...

this land is our land, it is not your land... what would the U.S. want with it anyway?

8:18 PM  

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